Aethyta hears the ‘ping’ from her terminal, begging for attention. She couldn’t be bothered to deal with her own problems, but curiosity compelled her to read over the new message. She scowled at the sender, intent on just deleting it altogether, but a few words caught her eye. Quickly she scanned over the message from Nerra and frowned. Goddess she felt like a bitch.
Her mind was hazy as she typed a reply, fingers merely a tool for her mental word vomit:
I’m…not too angry with you, okay I admit, I am, but I just don’t know what the fuck to do with myself. If you think you’re damn scared, try living as me right now. I fucked up, and people are paying for it. What else is new, right? I hurt you, upset Rona and maybe a few others, I hurt myself, ….I may have hurt Kiera too, but you wouldn’t care about her, I know.
I should probably attempt to explain myself. I was upset, and Kiera was there, and things just…happened. It’s not right, I know. I get this, I’ve kicked my own ass for it alright? I’m just damn scared I can’t fix anything, …like with Nezzy. I just can’t go through that again.
You did what you had to do, Nerra, standing up for ‘us’. It’s just…hard to explain. Kiera is…something else entirely. She has this damn weird effect on me and justs… Look, thank you. I’m just another damn pussy that doesn’t know how the hell to stay in a relationship.
I understand if you don’t want to stay with me anymore, I can’t do anything right, I’m a horrible girlfriend, and I have this fucking disgusting habit of hurting you, it seems. So…there it is. Do whatever the hell you want with it.
I…love you too, Nerra. Which is why I’ll accept whatever the hell it is you do with me. Goddess, I fucked up so bad.